I really should be going to sleep right now, but some moments in life are too big to ignore. Besides writing (or typing in this case) is supposed to be cathartic, so perhaps this will help. I want to start at......well I don't really know where to start, so I'll start with some general background. Overall I believe life to be a marvelous thing. Sometimes terrible and bad things happens, but I work through it, move forward (not on from it, but simply forward), learn from it, grow, and become a stronger person. These aren't just words to me. Not just some vague philosophy I say to people that are struggling. I am no stranger to tragedy and pain. I have faced it at least once a year, for multiple years in a row now. To be more exact I would say five years in a row now. Though every time something does happen I also believe that God gives me a way deal with it, a way to see things with perspective. Sometimes it takes me a great deal of time to see that perspective, but if I work through it I can find it. Not a justification for the incident, but a way I grew because of it. This week I had the fortune to work a show that Monks from Tibet were performing at my university. At the end of the show their spokesperson came out and explained why these monks travel around performing. They do it because it's their way to help heal other places by love, and to show the importance of world peace. They wanted to share their culture and to ask people for support in liberating Tibet from communist oppression so their culture is not lost. Now I'm not Asian, Buddhist, or anything like that, but I can have respect for a culture that supports peace, freedom, love, and the sacredness of life and culture in the face of longstanding oppression. Having been around the monks through out my week and working their performances these sort of things were on my mind when I had to have a very upsetting conversation with my best friend. Within one hour she had to confront two different deaths of people at our former high school. Now I was not personal very close with these individuals but I did know them and many of my friends were extremely close with them. Having gone through similar circumstances on different occasions naturally I would want to be there for my friend, but when you're across the country empathy can be your worse enemy. When I become extremely close with any person my empathy becomes ridiculously strong. I can know from just what the situation is how that person is handling it and if they won't cry then I cry for them, and if they do cry then I don't. I don't have to see the person before I have the appropriate reaction I just know. Having empathy as strong as mine without the ability to comfort is a personal nightmare. So I ask why. Why must I have such strong empathy if I can't even use it for those that need me? Just why?
Then I realized why. I empathize for others so that I can remember why people need each other. How each life interacts with another. We all have impact on someone the value of your life you cannot measure. One cannot see their own reach.
So I ask, no I beg that if anyone is struggling to remember that some one some where can always see your worth. That your decisions impact others' lives. So stay strong and live on, because we can all heal. Even if there are scares we can still be healed.
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