Consuming versus Participating

So I definitely am the kind of person that needs art in my life. An art that I can experience and be a part of. After all isn't that what art supposed to do? Every time someone performs a piece a music, doodles, posts a picture they offer up a piece of themselves for the world to share. 

I in turn always feel the need to offer up a piece of myself as well. Not in exchange but as a release. To help people to better understand what's going on in my head or what troubles my soul.  

This exchange of selves (so to speak) I believe can be an extremely crucial part of life to some people and society as a whole. For we are all made to be social creatures. Grouping together for an exchange of ideas. Sometimes we just don't realize it. Every time we go to a concert, browse on instagram, hang out with friends over coffee, or gather around someone's dinning room table things are shared. 

Now for me as person that finds this exchange as a crucial part of life cannot just be a "looky-loo" (as dubbed by cultural critic Dave Hickey) or a person who merely consumes. I have to make myself a part of it. I have an incredible need to participate and be a part of the creative process. To respond to what has been expressed. 

It's not that I have exactly been completely separated from the creative process lately, but as of late I have been in a difficult place where it is a sort of in between. In fact this week has been the release of a  production that I worked electrics for and while I loved the work it is the prime example of my condition.

 My schedule puts me separate from most of the others that are a part of the production so I'm not feeding off the energy of others but merely sustaining myself in my work. Then when the actual performance comes there is nothing left for me to do but sit in the audience. The problem is that I am not just an audience member. But I'm not a part of the performance either.

This puts me in a rock and a hard place in the form of social circles. It's hard to know who to be with when I'm working too much to hang out with people that aren't in theater, but aren't in the theater when the others are so I don't have time with them either. I'm not saying I'm friendless because I'm not and I'm sorry if this sounds like I'm just being a whiny person. I simply miss being with people who are on the same level as me and understand. 

Of course most of this is caused by the specific job I select in the theater, which I could change but the temporary sacrifices I make for now will pay off ten-fold in the long run if I persist. In the mean time I am having to find new ways to give to the cultural stream. So I have been trying to get started back up with photography and I was successful in restarting in the way I used to practice as a child. Though since I am older my ideas have developed as well.

As exciting as my knew plans are it is hard to establish them as realities when I have no one to work with. I am able to work alone and am introverted by nature, but I only do that until I find someone I can work with. Like I said before art is meant to be shared.

I have also tried encouraging ways to go out to find a place where I can participate in art in the form of music found in the community, but it is hard to do so when going out for some only means a time of mindlessness not a time to experience. 

Well that's pretty much the end of my long rant. I just won't to say a few disclaimers that my feeling this is absolutely no one's fault. It is simply how I feel at the moment. The subject has been more or less been rolling around my head for a while now ( inspired by Cognitive Surplus by Clay Shirky) it simply felt personal and pertinent for me at this point so I decided to finally talk about it.

Here's some quotes that fit and one current thought of mine. 

“A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul.” 
― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“It is good to love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is well done.” 
― Vincent van Gogh

Just because someone is young and angsty does not mean they can have a free pass for being a contemptible jerk.

-- Me, Myself, and I 

P.S. 

I promise I'm a happy person. Just a little stressed.

P.P.S.

Even if you're not "religious" it does good to help others and comfort those around us.

One of the things I struggle with is dealing with the fact that I cannot physically be there for the people I love and care about. So remember to love those around you and appreciate the people that you are with.

Love and Peace,

 

The Dove