Consuming versus Participating

So I definitely am the kind of person that needs art in my life. An art that I can experience and be a part of. After all isn't that what art supposed to do? Every time someone performs a piece a music, doodles, posts a picture they offer up a piece of themselves for the world to share. 

I in turn always feel the need to offer up a piece of myself as well. Not in exchange but as a release. To help people to better understand what's going on in my head or what troubles my soul.  

This exchange of selves (so to speak) I believe can be an extremely crucial part of life to some people and society as a whole. For we are all made to be social creatures. Grouping together for an exchange of ideas. Sometimes we just don't realize it. Every time we go to a concert, browse on instagram, hang out with friends over coffee, or gather around someone's dinning room table things are shared. 

Now for me as person that finds this exchange as a crucial part of life cannot just be a "looky-loo" (as dubbed by cultural critic Dave Hickey) or a person who merely consumes. I have to make myself a part of it. I have an incredible need to participate and be a part of the creative process. To respond to what has been expressed. 

It's not that I have exactly been completely separated from the creative process lately, but as of late I have been in a difficult place where it is a sort of in between. In fact this week has been the release of a  production that I worked electrics for and while I loved the work it is the prime example of my condition.

 My schedule puts me separate from most of the others that are a part of the production so I'm not feeding off the energy of others but merely sustaining myself in my work. Then when the actual performance comes there is nothing left for me to do but sit in the audience. The problem is that I am not just an audience member. But I'm not a part of the performance either.

This puts me in a rock and a hard place in the form of social circles. It's hard to know who to be with when I'm working too much to hang out with people that aren't in theater, but aren't in the theater when the others are so I don't have time with them either. I'm not saying I'm friendless because I'm not and I'm sorry if this sounds like I'm just being a whiny person. I simply miss being with people who are on the same level as me and understand. 

Of course most of this is caused by the specific job I select in the theater, which I could change but the temporary sacrifices I make for now will pay off ten-fold in the long run if I persist. In the mean time I am having to find new ways to give to the cultural stream. So I have been trying to get started back up with photography and I was successful in restarting in the way I used to practice as a child. Though since I am older my ideas have developed as well.

As exciting as my knew plans are it is hard to establish them as realities when I have no one to work with. I am able to work alone and am introverted by nature, but I only do that until I find someone I can work with. Like I said before art is meant to be shared.

I have also tried encouraging ways to go out to find a place where I can participate in art in the form of music found in the community, but it is hard to do so when going out for some only means a time of mindlessness not a time to experience. 

Well that's pretty much the end of my long rant. I just won't to say a few disclaimers that my feeling this is absolutely no one's fault. It is simply how I feel at the moment. The subject has been more or less been rolling around my head for a while now ( inspired by Cognitive Surplus by Clay Shirky) it simply felt personal and pertinent for me at this point so I decided to finally talk about it.

Here's some quotes that fit and one current thought of mine. 

“A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul.” 
― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“It is good to love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is well done.” 
― Vincent van Gogh

Just because someone is young and angsty does not mean they can have a free pass for being a contemptible jerk.

-- Me, Myself, and I 

P.S. 

I promise I'm a happy person. Just a little stressed.

P.P.S.

Even if you're not "religious" it does good to help others and comfort those around us.

One of the things I struggle with is dealing with the fact that I cannot physically be there for the people I love and care about. So remember to love those around you and appreciate the people that you are with.

Love and Peace,

 

The Dove

Halloween and a Time of Discontent

Well Happy Halloween everybody!

I know my art isn't exactly DaVinci bet it's a white board on my door don't get your expectations to high now. I am pretty proud of my Fantasticks font though (if you happen to be familiar with the play). Last year back home since I was so busy with working a play (and utterly exhausted from it) I didn't really do anything except help my cousin with some zombie make-up, but this year I have yet to run out of occasions to attend. 

It started with the night of the theater party. 

This chick was freaking awesome going all out as Matt Smith from Doctor Who

and she was kind enough to let me be stupid with her sonic screwdriver 

Here's a group shot of all the lovely people 

myself being the americanized british punk rocker

 (I don't have a shirt sporting the ol' jack)

Of course that was a week ago. Then I started my first week working on electrics for the upcoming production of Out Town and the whole week I was so looking forward to a weekend when I didn't have to do anything. Well I'm just a fool now aren't I?

That Friday morning at breakfast my friend Katie starts pleading with me to help with the haunted house she was working and since I am a good person I couldn't say no. So I had the pleasure to go to a side splitting improv performance at 7 running to the farthest building on campus immediately afterwards. I then had the honor of getting my face painted up and being a guide for the scary tour from 10 to 12:30 at night. Outside. In the cold. 

Reminder. I'm from Texas where it starts dropping to 60 degrees on halloween. Here for the past week and a half it's lucky to top to high 40's during the day so all night it's closer to 34 degrees usually. 

I then got to be a guide the following night as well. Yay me. This time I dressed warmer, but my phalanges and part of my face still went numb. Overall thought it was really fun (seeing friends run for their lives from guys named steve and billy is rather hilarious) and I met some cool people so I would probably easily agree to do it again. 

Mostly recently (today in fact) I was able to give out candy to trick-or-treaters for this thing my university sets up. It was fun and the kids were all really cute. I tell you what though, it is terrifying running out of candy when kids are lining up in front of your door. 

Anyways a lot of us got all dressed up which made it rather interesting. 

Here's everyone that got dressed up in my hall

We're definitely the coolest people in the building

Katie: Awk. Dora, Allie: Princess, Skylar: Dude, Karina: flash from the past 80's style, Moi: Katniss duh

Allie, Sky, and Katie decided to do a family photo

Karina likes cats of all kinds

(except maybe the musical)

We like the kitty too

I'M BATMAN

(enough said)

Karina tried to teach katie spanish

Katie's a hopeless cause

(why is she always on the floor?)

Tonight was a lot of fun. One of the things I like about Halloween is the ability to create something new with every costume. I also recently decided to get back into photography and even try to enter some art competitions (though I doubt if I'll win) to try and get my stuff out there in the public. It has incurred in me a large desire to create which is not something I have done in a long time. Grant I do a lot of work in the theater and I do small jobs like the haunted house but that does not have the same cathartic release as creating something purely of my own design. To see in my mind's eye and make it a reality. Luckily I have been able to express some of that drive on my door.

this is the white board along with a pumpkin 

my room mate's dad sent in a package

This a wonderful skeleton I drew out and colored myself

Who doesn't like scooby-doo?

So I hand drew the tree and leaves and colored them

and my mom sent me that felt leaf in a package

Our RA made us owls and Monsters 

but I spiced ours up with some fancy wings I made

My room mate made this lovely boo

Her Owl and Monster

I cut that off an empty tissue box

because I can.

Anyway that gave me some release but not too much some I'm kind of in discontent as an artist but I'll have to make do since I need to prioritize with school and my work in the theater. In the meantime I did design a dress though that is inspired from the picture of Smaug on the cover of The Hobbit. While I am not going to post a picture of that (don't need people stealing my work) I will say it is fantastical. 

And now for some words of creativity and wisdom.

 (In response to my best friend on why we are so amazing)
Jesus decided this generation would need some help so he gathered all the best parts of history threw them in a pressure cooker that runs on a rollercoaster. Then one day in an explosion of fireworks spouting from the horn of a unicorn we came to be.
True Story Bro.

(being questioned on why I look in some places for inspiration)
The inspiration doesn't guide me. It's more of a platform to jump off of. Where I end up is a different matter entirely.

Speak Softly and Carry a Big Stick

- Teddy Roosevelt/West African Proverb

My first Job! A mix of cultures

I've been slow in getting this posted up, but here it is! I was able to work my first job in technical theater a few weeks ago and to say the least it was really exciting. A few weeks ago some Tibetan Monks came through for a week and demonstrated some traditional practices and discussed the situation in Tibet. It was a remarkable experience and I was fortunate enough to assist in the light design and run the lights for two of their performances. 

These were during the rehearsal

These were taken at the first performance

I apologize for poor photo quality I could only take photos in between cues using my phone from up in the booth.

As I stated before this was quite an exciting experience for me. Before this my lighting experience was rather limited and now I have taken part in designing and running a show which all happened within one week. The nights following this I was also able to take a small part in the Senior directed One Act Plays where I was asked to run the sound. Both experiences are what I expect to be the start of a very successful career for myself and I am glad to be in a place that gives me such amazing opportunities.